Always Left Feeling Not Good Enough?

Unleash Your Authentic Self: Boosting Self Esteem by Living Life on Purpose

In today's fast-paced world, many grapple with feelings of self doubt and low self esteem. External pressures and societal molds often overshadow our positive traits, leading to a decline in mental health. But amidst this chaos, finding and living your truth can be the beacon that guides you to a place of peace and happiness.

In my most recent TEDx Talk: From Pain to Playlist - Turning Struggles into Song, I wanted to take the audience [and viewers] on a journey, sharing some of the invaluable life lessons that I've not only learned, but also transformed into powerful songs that continue to serve me everyday.

One of the first lessons I shared is the essence of living life on purpose - especially in a world that often leaves us asking "Am I enough?".

Let's talk about it.

Live Life on Purpose and Boost Your Self Esteem

I believe it's important to recognize that our lives are uniquely ours, so it’s essential to live them authentically and purposefully. We often find ourselves maneuvering our actions and characters to adapt to our surroundings and appease others. But in doing so, we risk losing our sense of self, our truth, and the emotions that make us human. By embracing self love and understanding our self worth, we can combat feelings of not being "good enough." But how do we do that?

Step One: Remember that You Are Nobody’s Puppet

If you're new to who I am, and what I do, I've been writing and singing my entire life. But I've never been one to write about surface level stuff. So when I expanded my business in 2020 to include public speaking: it only made sense to incorporate music into the mix: to elevate every point that I discuss in my keynotes.

In this particular case: one of the first lessons I wanted people to understand - especially when it comes to building our self esteem - is to remember that "You are nobody’s puppet." You don’t have to be a passive participant in your life, swayed by the whims of societal expectations or opinions of others. By understanding this, we can combat low self esteem, and foster a feeling good mentality even when external factors make us feel bad.

? Step Two: Don't be Afraid to Embark on a Journey of Self-Discovery

Life isn't something that just happens to us. We have the ability to happen to life. Every day gives us the opportunity to embrace this journey of self-discovery and empowerment, and I'm a huge believer that a key component of this is by embracing one’s individuality and navigating life with purpose and authenticity. Our relationship with ourselves, influenced by our beliefs and the company of friends we keep, plays a pivotal role in our mental health and overall happiness.

But how do we do this? Here are a few pointers to remember:

Combating Low Self-Worth: Not Feeling Good Enough

Navigating through life with a sense of low self-worth can be debilitating. It’s like walking through a never-ending tunnel of not feeling good enough, where feelings of inadequacy overshadow your path, making it hard to see the light of your true worth and capabilities. But where does this feeling stem from? And is it always tied to the shadows of the past?

Our hidden core beliefs subtly dictate our thoughts, emotions, and actions. These ingrained beliefs, often formed in the early stages of our lives, can become the directors of our life’s play, making us act and feel in ways that align with their script, even if it doesn’t resonate with our truth. Recognizing and challenging these beliefs is a crucial step towards reclaiming your self-worth and happiness.

Parental Influences: The Roots of Self-Worth

Our parents or guardians play a significant role in the formation of our self-worth. Critical, demanding, or aloof parents can sow seeds of self-doubt, making us feel that we are never good enough. These early experiences can shape our perceptions, making it challenging to embrace our positive traits fully.

Trauma: The Shadows of the Past

Past traumas can leave indelible marks on our sense of self-worth. These painful experiences can create a cloud of negativity, making it difficult to see our true value and potential. But it’s essential to remember that our past doesn’t define us. We have the power to heal, grow, and redefine our paths.

Is Feeling Not Good Enough Always About the Past?

While the past undoubtedly influences our feelings and beliefs, it doesn’t hold the pen to our life’s story. We have the autonomy to rewrite our narratives, learn from our experiences, and cultivate a sense of self-worth that is rooted in the present.

Listening to Your Inner Voice: A Source of Compassion

When we tune in deeply to our inner voices, we often find that they are not inherently critical or judgmental. Beneath the layers of self-doubt and criticism lies a voice of compassion, understanding, and unconditional love. Learning to step outside of our egos [via meditation, prayer, or creative expression], and listen to this compassionate voice can be a powerful tool in nurturing our self-worth and overall mental health.

Practices to Stop Feeling Like You're Not Good Enough

Navigating through life with a cloud of inadequacy can be exhausting. It’s a journey filled with self-doubt and negative emotions that can hinder our happiness and fulfillment. However, there are practices and strategies that can help in breaking free from this cycle, allowing us to transform our lives and embrace our true worth.

- Stop Comparing and Competing With Others

Comparison can be a thief of joy. In a world where everyone’s life is on display through social media and other platforms, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves with others. Try to shift your focus away from competition and comparison, and instead, celebrate your unique journey, achievements, and progress.

- The Importance of a Positive Self-Image

Cultivating a positive self-image is crucial in overcoming feelings of inadequacy. Focus on recognizing and celebrating your strengths, achievements, and qualities. Remember, your worth is not determined by external validations but by how you see and value yourself.

- The Power of Affirmation

Our minds are powerful tools that can be used for good - or for evil. Take some time to step outside of your perception of your life, and try to imagine what kind of life you'd like to lead. What would that look like? Feel like? Who would you be in this perfect life?

Turn those concepts into your own "I Am" statements that put you in the drivers seat of this reality. Because you are in the drivers seat. This is your life. Your song. And you have the pen.

How to Remember That You Are Good Enough

Remind yourself regularly of your worth and accomplishments. Practice your affirmations, maintain a gratitude journal, or engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-esteem. Surround yourself with positivity and people who uplift you and reinforce your belief in your capabilities.

- Break Through Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life

Negative emotions can be overwhelming, but they don’t have to dictate your life. Learn to identify, express, and manage your emotions effectively. Engage in practices such as mindfulness, meditation, or yoga that can help in achieving emotional balance and clarity.

- Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Don’t allow feelings of inadequacy to rob you of happiness. Focus on the present, embrace the joys of life, and engage in activities that bring you happiness and satisfaction. Remember, happiness is a journey, not a destination.

- Focus on the Process Rather Than Results

Shift your focus from the outcome to the journey. Embrace the learning and growth that comes with each experience, and try not to be too hard on yourself. Celebrate small victories and progress, and remember that success is a journey filled with ups and downs.

- Seek Support

Therapy can be a powerful tool in overcoming feelings of inadequacy. A mental health professional can provide guidance, support, and strategies to improve your self-esteem and overall mental health. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if feelings of not being good enough are affecting your well-being.

- Remember Your Strengths

In the orchestra of life, where various tunes play, remembering your strengths can be your enduring melody. Your strengths are the powerful chords that resonate with resilience, capability, and uniqueness. Focus on these aspects, allow them to be your guiding tunes, and let them overshadow the noises of self-doubt and inadequacy.

- Affirmation Anthem

It's easy to shrug off affirmations as "silly" and "useless" - especially when you're a teenager. But coupling affirmations with music can be incredibly beneficial for reminding us that our feelings aren't facts, but just thoughts... and that we really are good enough - despite what intrusive thoughts might try to tell us otherwise.

Turning on songs from our favorite artists that sing affirming songs that focus on positive traits, the value of friends, our right to feel good, and reframing disempowering beliefs into remembering that we are worthy of respect, success, and support can be hugely beneficial.

However, I've found that there is distinctly more benefit to writing those songs ourselves.

Stepping Outside Conventional Therapy and Getting Creative Professional Help When You're Feeling Not Good Enough

Sometimes, the music of our lives may need fine-tuning by a professional to flow harmoniously. Seeking professional help is a positive step towards overcoming feelings of inadequacy. Therapists and mental health professionals can provide you with tailored strategies, a listening ear, and a new perspective to view your worth and capabilities.

Navigating through life’s complexities with a burden of negative feelings can be a challenging ordeal. However, there are pathways illuminated with hope, strategies, and professional guidance that can lead you towards the realms of success, self-esteem, and self-love. Here’s a guide to help you transform your struggles and stresses into harmonies of happiness and productivity.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

  • Focus on Self-Care: Regularly engage in activities that promote your well-being and happiness.

  • Practice Gratitude: Maintain a gratitude journal to remind yourself of the positive aspects of your life.

  • Connect Socially: Build and maintain relationships that foster support and positivity.

  • Set Realistic Goals: Set achievable goals and celebrate small victories along the way.

  • Engage in Physical Activity: Regular exercise can enhance mood and overall well-being.

And if you're interested in learning more about channeling your feelings of low self esteem, or not feeling good enough into your own original songs that can help to transform your pain into power: send me an email, and I'll send you over a free pdf version of my upcoming workbook of the same as the above TEDx Talk: From Pain to Playlist - Turning Struggles into Song.

Reach Out to Me for Help Overcoming Your Feelings of Inadequacy

If this journey feels overwhelming, remember, you don’t have to walk the path alone. Reach out for guidance and support. Together, we can turn the struggles and stresses into songs of success, self-esteem, and self-love. Your life’s music is unique and valuable, and with the right support, it can resonate with the melodies of happiness, resilience, and triumph.


Embarking on this journey involves recognizing your strengths, seeking professional guidance when necessary, and utilizing strategies that enhance happiness and productivity. Remember, the symphony of your life is composed of various tunes, and with support and perseverance, it can resonate with the melodies of success and self-love.

? Discover More in the Full TEDx Talk

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