As a teenager and into my mid-20s, I struggled deeply with self-esteem issues. It felt like everywhere I turned, there was something else to feel insecure about—my body, my past, and even my condition: hydrocephalus [a neurological disorder caused by an excess of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) in the brain's ventricles, leading to their enlargement and increased pressure on surrounding brain tissue. At 4months old; I had my first brain surgery to insert a shunt - like a really long straw - into my cranium to drain the excess fluid from my head]. From battling body image issues to grappling with the embarrassment of having had ten brain surgeries, life felt like an uphill climb toward self-acceptance. On top of that, I was also dealing with the trauma of abuse and the weight of depression, which made it nearly impossible to communicate with those around me about how I really felt. Fear of rejection from my peers loomed over me like the shadows in Pink Floyd's "The Wall", making me feel even more isolated.

Through all these mental health struggles and self-doubt, I found it difficult to express my feelings in a way that made sense, even to me. My thoughts would often spiral out of control, and I found myself retreating further into myself. Talking to people about my low self-esteem and insecurities felt impossible, and I often experienced negative self-talk, self-criticism, and a growing sense of failure. But where words failed, music became my emotional security blanket. It became the safe space where I could finally express myself without fear of judgment.

Insecurity and Self-Doubt: The Early Years

From a young age, I dealt with significant challenges that contributed to my low self-esteem. Having ten brain surgeries by the age of 12 left me feeling different and embarrassed about my appearance and abilities. I had a hard time accepting my body and felt self-conscious about the scars and brain damage that I believed made me less capable [and certainly understood] than my peers. This compounded my feelings of insecurity, leading to bouts of depression and self-doubt. I struggled with low self-esteem and often felt inadequate in social situations, constantly fearing rejection and failure. I turned that into overt extroversion, and clung to a mask positivity like my life depended on it.

But the truth is: the more I clung to the appearance of positivity; the worse things got, and the trauma I went on to endure as a teenager only worsened my mental health issues. In New Zealand, where I was raised; 1 out of 3 girls may be sexually abused before she turns 16 years old. Most of this abuse (90%) will be done by someone she knows and 70% will involve genital contact. 1 in 7 boys may be sexually abused by adulthood. When it comes to the States, however; according to RAINN, one in 9 girls and 1 in 20 boys under the age of 18 experience sexual abuse or assault, so I wasn't the only one... yet I was still left feeling broken, confused, and unable to communicate my feelings to those around me. I developed low self-esteem tendencies and found it incredibly difficult to navigate relationships. I was trapped in a cycle of negative beliefs, constantly questioning my self-worth and abilities.

Finding My Voice Through Music

Despite these challenges, music was my lifeline. It was the only place where I felt safe enough to express the feelings I couldn’t talk about with others. When words failed, I turned to songwriting as a way to pour out all the emotions I was holding in. Music gave me a voice when I couldn’t find the courage to speak, and it provided a sense of self that felt authentic.

Writing songs helped me work through the anxiety, pain, and frustration that came with my low self-esteem. It became a creative outlet where I could take ownership of my story and use it as a tool to process my trauma. The fear of rejection that I constantly carried was eased when I performed my music, giving me a sense of control over how I expressed myself. Through songwriting, I was able to face my fears, cope with my insecurities, and boost my self-esteem.

One of the most profound moments for me was performing a song I had written for someone who had hurt me. There was something incredibly empowering about sharing my feelings with the world—and with the person I had written it for. It was like breaking free from the silence that had held me captive for so long. Music gave me the strength to challenge my self-doubt and low self-esteem, and the more I performed, the more I began to build self-confidence.

Developing Healthy Self-Esteem Through Creative Expression

Music was the foundation on which I began to build a healthy self-esteem. It became my way of managing the negative self-talk and self-criticism that often plagued me. Instead of hiding from my challenges, I faced them head-on through my lyrics and melodies. As I continued to develop my skills, I realized that music wasn’t just about expressing pain; it was about healing and growth.

Through creative outlets like songwriting, I learned to recognize my positive qualities and began to build a sense of self-worth. Every time I created a new song, I was reminded that I was capable of turning negative feelings into something beautiful. This process of creation gave me the tools to cope with the fear and self-doubt that had once controlled my life. Slowly but surely, my confidence grew, and over the years, I've started to believe in my own abilities.

Creative expression through music helped me build positive relationships with myself and others. By sharing my music with the world, I opened up to people who supported my journey and understood my struggles. Music helped me develop self-compassion, as I learned to be kinder to myself and embrace my flaws as part of my overall well-being. I no longer saw my challenges as failures, but as opportunities for growth and connection.

The Power of Music in Boosting Self-Esteem and Mental Health

Music can be a transformative tool for young adults dealing with self-esteem issues and mental health challenges. For me, it wasn’t just an artistic outlet—it was a way to reclaim my voice, find self-love, and foster a healthy sense of self-worth. Music helped me understand that the key to building a healthy self-esteem is self-expression, creativity, and connection.

By tapping into creative outlets like music, young adults can develop a healthier relationship with themselves. Songwriting gives them a way to express their feelings, cope with anxiety, and build self-confidence. It helps them feel good about who they are, and it allows them to overcome negative beliefs and self-doubt. With the right tools, they can navigate life’s challenges with compassion, self-love, and resilience.

The Time is Now

Building and maintaining a healthy self-esteem takes time, but it’s a journey worth taking. Music gave me the strength to confront my insecurities, the courage to express myself, and the ability to develop positive relationships.
If you’ve ever struggled with expressing your emotions, processing trauma, or building your self-worth, songwriting can be a powerful tool to help you find your voice and heal. Whether you're an adult or a teenager navigating life’s challenges, music offers a way to channel your feelings into something creative and meaningful. By learning how to write your own songs, you can embrace your voice, express yourself healthily, and develop a deeper sense of self-worth. I offer empowerment through songwriting coaching to help you on this journey—especially for teens who may find it difficult to communicate their emotions in traditional ways.

If you're ready to explore how songwriting can benefit your emotional well-being, let's hop on a call today and discuss how this process can support your personal growth and healing.